This is life and there is nothing I can do about it...

Wow, I can not believe that the last time I posted was October 3, 2009. My intentions for this blog was to reflect on my life and keep track of the daily occurrences that make up, well, me. I guess it hasn't been really that long since I updated. It just has been a while since I had so much on my mind.

I had the opportunity tonight to talk with a good friend of mine. Someone that I am truly lucky to have in my life. Someone who takes the monotony and "vanilla" out of my life. Someone who can open up to me, and in return let me open up to them. Someone who is actually more messed up than I am, well someone who is at least willing to admit it. Just kidding. Tonight's talk with that person really opened my eyes to the realities of life, some harsh and some worthwhile.

Reality #1: Who gives a shit what you think.
Well I do for one. I wish I didn't. I wish I could brush that nonsense off my shoulder, but I just can't. I don't know why I care so much and I sure as hell don't know why it matters to me what other people think. I admire my friend who doesn't care, no matter how ridiculous the allegations are. I try to play it off and pretend I didn't notice your non shalant comment, I guess I am just a good actor. I will dwell on something until I finally convince myself it doesn't matter, even though deep in my gut that thought still exists.

Reality #2: Emotions are a bitch.
I think my main problem is I get emotionally attached too easily. That is probably a contributing factor to Reality #1. I don't want to have to ever say good bye. I don't want you to not want me around. I am an extremely social being. I have a lot of friends. Ask anyone and they will tell you I have a lot of friends. I find it taxing sometimes to arrange my social schedule to make time for the many friends I have. I do however make time for those who matter most to me. Sometimes I feel like I stretch myself too thin, which is easier said than done(check my waist size). I want to please you, I want to love you, and I want you to love me back. When the last part doesn't happen, it hurts. To not hear it, it hurts. In the words of an old roommate, I need to "Man up!" What does that mean by the way? Man up? I am a man. I can't help feeling the way I do.

Reality #3: I am damn good at what I do.
I love my job. I love where I work. I love the people I work with, well a majority of them. All I need to know is that I am damn good at what I do. I may not do it the way you do it. Your opinion of what is "the way it should be" is not THE way it should be. I know I am making a difference by how the students react. The fact that they question things is not a sign of disrespect, but a sign that I taught them to think for themselves and have a curiosity of the world around them. The fact that they are excited to see me and want to run and hug me is ok. Sorry that they broke out of line, or stopped what they were doing to see me. That tells me that I have touched their lives so much that no matter the consequences they are to do whatever it takes to be near me. That is so much more gratifying than the glare you give me from across the room.

Reality #4: Life is not fair.
That is probably one of the most heard phrases any given person will hear through out their life. It is not fair that you can get married. It is not fair that during your courtship you can receive flowers without whispers from the close minded. It is not fair that you can bring your significant other to work and not have to worry if you are offending someone. It is not fair that you can openly talk at lunch with your coworkers about how amazing your significant other is, where I have a mini anxiety attack hoping they don't ask about mine for fear of offending the conservative ones at the table. It is not fair that I pretend to be someone I am not just to avoid the uncomfortable silence that usually comes after.

Reality #5: I love you.
I don't care how messed up you are. I don't care about your baggage. I don't care if you don't feel the same way. I love you for 1 of 2 reasons: One is reality #2 and the other is that you have someone how found a way to make me love you. It can be your sense of humor, the time you spend with me, or that you have made my life a little more bearable. I will love you and be there when you need me, even when you are not there for me. Please don't misconstrue this last reality as a confession of love to a particular person. It is love for you as a friend. Just want to be clear. The last thing I need are rumors to be started. Actually there is a third reason why I love you, you need someone to love you. You need to know someone cares about you.

Those were just a few of the realities that I always knew were there, but never truly thought or confessed them. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I just know that it isn't perfect. That it can't be perfect.

When I Grow Up...

This week at school is Education Go Get It Week! I shared some of my childhood dreams with my I remember when I was little I wanted to be a lot of things. Some of them were possible, and some of them were not. For example when I was 5 years old I wanted to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! The only problem with that was, I am not a turtle nor was there a toxic ooze spill for me to frolic in. I also wanted to be a fire fighter when I was younger. That was an aspiration I could have accomplished. I made the right choices, as far as getting an education, but as I grew older what I wanted to do changed. I knew I wanted to help people, but the chance of me getting BBQ'd was something that turned me off to the idea. In high school I applied for a class that allowed me to visit the local elementary school and volunteer with little people. After the first day I knew I wanted to be a teacher. There are so many things about being a teacher that I enjoy. I could not have my dream job if I had not gotten an education. Stay in school and make good choices, and you will someday have your dream job.

From Happy Hour to The Happiest Place on Earth to Happy Birthday to Happily Ever After

It seems no matter where I go happiness is everywhere to be found. I just recently got back from the happiest place on Earth- Walt Disney World! However everything before and after are going to be full of happiness.

On our way to Florida my friend Jackie and I decided to stay in New Orleans for 2 nights before driving to Orlando. We were pleasantly surprised to have our room upgraded to an executive suite for free! Everyone we ran into was nice and friendly. It's no wonder especially since New Orleans has one of the streets known for its all night happy hours, Bourbon Street. It was a good time. We arrived the afternoon of July 4th and decided to catch a firework show. At the time we didn't realize what a challenge that was going to be for us. We got lost several times and ended up paying the same toll twice. The fireworks were really something though, at least the ones I could see from the car. We gave up and headed to our hotel. The next day we spent on the Riverwalk and French Quarter Marketplace. I controlled myself and only came back with a legit Mardi Gras mask. Now all I need is a masquerade ball to wear it to.

After our second night we headed to Orlando for our 3 night stay. When we arrived we weren't greeted by a suite upgrade, but we would be staying 1.8 miles from The Happiest Place on Earth! Our first day we headed over to Disney's Animal Kingdom. The weather wasn't cooperating and by I mean not cooperating I mean I was soaking wet before I got to the park entrance. We had a good time though. I got to ride their newest ride Expedition Everest. It's set to the theme of mountain climbing to discover the elusive Yeti that has been terrorizing hikers for centuries. On the ride the Yeti jumps out and rips apart the roller coaster tracks which sends the rider traveling backwards in the direction in which they came. I am not going to lie, the ride did take my breath away for a good 3 seconds. It literally ripped the breath from my chest and I loved it!

The next day we spent 13 hours at Disney's Magic Kingdom. I used to work there in 2004 and all those memories came rushing back once I loaded onto the monorail to get to the park entrance. At the park I got the chance to run into one of my former students from this past year. It's funny to see kids out of school because they act completely different. This kid was the kid who showed my how to do monkey butt on the first week of school and now he was sitting quietly and being shy. It made me smile. If you don't know what monkey butt is go back in my blog posts and find it, it will be worth the time. I also got the chance to catch up with an old friend that I worked with when I worked at Disney. It had been 5 years since we saw each other last, but it was just like old times. We got to see a lot of the shows and ride almost all the rides. My personal favorite was Mickey's Philharmagic Show. It's a 3-D show that stars Donald Duck and his wacky adventure with Mickey's Magical sorcerer's hat. It combined many of the classic characters such as Simba, Ariel, Jasmine, Aladdin, Peter Pan, and Tinkerbell set to their trademark songs. I forgot how magical of a place Disney is. I had a great time and thought it was well worth the money spent. I really do miss working there. Who knows, I might end up back there again someday.

Tomorrow I am heading to Fort Worth for my mom's birthday and a good friend's wedding in Dallas. I have to leave early so I can make it time to take my mom out for lunch and then head to Dallas for the wedding. I will be glad when it is all over so I can come home an relax. I have been going nonstop since the 3rd. It will be nice to just relax, even if it is just for a little bit before returning to work on Monday.

Gotta Love These Summer Days...

The day did not go as I intended it. I planned on planting my roots in my couch and drifting in and out of consciousness all day. I am glad that it did not go that way.

I was debating going to JC Penny to get a patio set I saw the other day that was on sale when my good friend Lindsay called me. She lives just outside of Austin and it is always a treat when she comes in town. She went with me to JC Penny and I ended up getting the set. I have yet to put it together, but once I do I will post a picture. After JC Penny we went to Petsmart to buy Mia a life jacket, Old Navy to get some $5 swim trunks(x3), and Walmart to get window treatments for my patio. I ended up spending too much but overall the saving on what I bought was well worth it.

When I got back Jackie called and wanted to try and take the pups swimming since they have never been. That was why I bought Mia a life jacket. We headed over to Bull Creek, which I have been there before, but it was dry. I thought that maybe if we hiked a llittle bit further from where we parked we would find a deeper part with some water. A mile later and I was wrong. The hike was very zen. It was quite and I really felt at one with nature. Ok not really but it was a great way to clear my head. I had to carry Mia for part of it. Poor thing is not used to that much physical activity, especially in that kind of heat! We made it to the car, sweaty, tired, and hot and decided we couldn't go wrong with Barton Springs.

I am glad we went. The water was just what the doctor ordered on a triple digit day. It was funny to see Mia and Marco in the water. It was even funnier to see them in their life jackets floating around and trying out swimming for the first time. I don't think Mia enjoyed it very much. I would set her out and she would come straight to me and try to climb me. I made her swim a few times before feeling like what I was doing was animal cruelty. We got out of the springs to dry off and watch Jackie and her pup Marco. She was drill sergeant having Marco swim laps.lol I really enjoyed it and think I might take Mia out there more often. She can learn to like it. Right?

Another Week Down

The second week of camp is over and yes, I am still exhausted! In this last week I have attended a book club, gone to swim lessons, attended trivia night, challenged my cranium, and have been professionally developed. When I reflect in my blog I see that I am quite the busy bee. I don't know what it is, but I can't sit still! Then it is poor little Mia who suffers. I come home to walk her and change then it is off again. I can tell she does not like it because she started running to the door when she sees my grab my keys. It makes me sad, so I end up loving on her for a few extra minutes, which in turn makes me late to wherever I am going.

Book Club was really fun this week. It was the first meeting of the summer. Everyone brought a book to trade and we voted on the book we would be reading. I brought "Life of Pi"(which is an amazing book that I recommend you read it if you haven't and read it again if you have) to trade and left with "Things White People Like". I am only 1/8 into it and it is hilarious. It is so cliche and slightly racist, but hey aren't we all a little bit racist according to the puppets of Avenue Q? We took a vote and the book we will be reading is "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" by Chelsea Handler. I have a few friends who have read it and I hear it is a good read.

Aren't you a little old for the sprinklers?

The first week of camp is over and I am exhausted. I have been swimming 1o times this week! The plus side to this is:
a.) I am getting some physical activity.
b.) My tan is slowly coming in.
c.) My backstroke is improving.
d.) All of the above.

If you chose D you are correct!

I am still having a great time. I am doing all kinds of things that I would not have done if I were not working at the camp. Not only am I doing things that I would like to do, but I am doing them for free and getting paid to do it! This summer job is really a dream summer job.

Today we went to Brushy Creek Lake Park. It has a fun sprinkler park, a play scape, some sand volleyball courts, and plenty of picnic tables. First we had the kids play in the sprinkler park. While they were playing another group arrived. One guy caught my eye because he was one of the first to jump in the sprinklers with the kids.

After a few minutes of observation I discovered I knew him! He did his student teaching at the same school I did my student teaching at. We weren't friendly enough to be friends, but weren't strangers enough to be acquaintances. We are in that weird middle ground. I was confused as what to do. I know he noticed me, and noticed that I noticed him noticing me. Do I go say hi? Do I wave awkwardly? Do I ignore him? Do I go about my own business? Yes, I probably should have been paying closer attention to the kids, but:
a.) They were fenced in.
b.) I was sitting at the only exit.
c.) There was another camp counselor there with me.
d.) All of the Above.

If you chose D you are correct!

I talked it out with the other counselor I was there with and decided to go say hi. Can you guess what my opening line was?
a.) Hey! You!
b.) What it do player?
c.) Aren't you a little old for the sprinklers?
d.)All of the Above.

If you chose D you are wrong! The correct answer is C, also the name of this blog entry.

We caught up on the previous year. It turned out that not only were we first year teachers, but
a.) We were both male teachers.
b.) We both took a summer job working at a summer camp.
c.) We both teach 3rd grade.
d.) All of the Above.

If you chose D you are correct!

It's fun to see how much you have in common with people. After talking for a bit about our first year of teaching we parted ways. It is nice running into people you know. Believe it or not that happens to me a lot.

Well that is it for now. I don't know how many more multiple choice questions I can come up with.

Smurf Hands

It is our 3rd day into camp and things are still going swimmingly, literally. I have been swimming everyday since school has let out, yet I see no difference in my tan. It is quite puzzling to me. Maybe the difference is so subtle each day that I don't notice. At least I am not burning.

Today we tie dyed t shirts. Talk about clan destiny. I was meant to have this job. I tie dye like no other. I didn't even schedule this activity, it was decided before I got the job. It was cute to see some of the little kids trying to rubber band their shirts. I swear that I had to go over each one and redo their bands. After everyone had their bands on it was time to dye. We dumped the dye in a bucket with warm water and had the kids put their shirts in themselves before we took them out to wash them. I called the first kid up and had him put his shirt in. What could go wrong? Well I forgot to tell him to put gloves on! It didn't dawn on me until he showed me his hands after he was through. I laughed and told him to go wash his hand. Well he washed and washed, yet his hands still had a blue tint to him. Of course Smurf hands went around showing everyone his hands. All the kids were excited to get to dye their hands too, until I brought out the gloves. I had never seen so many smiles fade so quickly. They were more excited at the possibility of dyed digits instead of the shirts. It made me long to be a kid again. Hoping for those simple pleasure. Not caring about the color of our skin...

Mr. Jesse can you put me on the black cow?

Today was another good day at camp. I don't know if the kids are being good because camp is new or if they are being good because we have instilled fear on them. Either way, I'm not complaining at the moment. I hope it is the later reason though : )

Our field trip today was to the Arboretum Park and Amy's Ice Cream. The kids were super excited about the ice cream part. I didn't think I had been to arboretum park, but to my dismay I had. All it is 5 giant marble cows, a fountain, and some benches. The kids went crazy for the cows. I spent most of the morning hoisting little people up top of cows. It was funny to hear their conversation on top of the cows. Some were telling of adventures in far off lands while others were wondering how their cow would taste. It was nice to let their imaginations run wild above an over-sized ceramic big mac.

After that we headed to Amy's Ice cream. It went a lot smoother than I expected. We only gave the kids the choice between Dutch Chocolate and Texican Vanilla, then they got to add 2 crush ins. Can you guess the 2 most popular crush ins? M & M's and Rainbow Sprinkles! We had a lot of multicolored smiles by the time we finished there. Amy's is such a great place. The lady there who was helping us was so patient. She was a whole lot of woman, but she worked that counter like an well oiled machine. I was impressed at how fast she was able to take the order, scoop the ice cream, add the crush in, and served it to the kids.

By the time we got back to the center the sugar had fully enter the kids blood stream, luckily it was time for my lunch break! I went home to let Mia out. She did her business and then we snuggled on the couch. She was a little stinky so I decided to give her a bath. She of course was not a happy camper. She kept trying to escape, good thing she is a little pup and I have a garden sized tub. After the bath she ran away from me. That forced me to chase her around the apartment with a towel. As I was trying to towel her off she squirmed out of the towel and went between my legs. As I was turning Mia jumped and bit me in the butt! It made me laugh. Then she took off around the couch. The next 10 minutes was dedicated to Mia dodging, ducking, diving, dipping, and dodging away from me. It was pretty cute.

School's Out For Summer! Part Deux

When I arrived back at the camp after lunch the kids were at the pool. That's right, the pool! They go swimming twice a day for 1 hour each time. You know what that means! Tanning time! It was pretty funny because an older kids challenged a younger kid to a race in the pool. When he said go he took off and the little kid struggled after him. Luckily I had my swim suit on so I jumped in the pool and grabbed the little kid and swam her to victory. We did this a few times until the older kid caught us. He was like, "I couldn't understand how she was beating me!"

After the pool the kids change and we do some read aloud time. It is funny how quiet the kids get during this time. I don't know what it is but every time I do read aloud the kids get quiet and are fixated on you. I love that books can still get the kid's attention. I think it was because the story was set in the fictional town of Pigbone. Every time I said it the kids giggled, which in turn made me giggle. For the rest of the day we kept saying Pigbone every time we got the chance.

Overall it was a good day. My job doesn't seem that difficult. I think because there is so much planned in a day. Here is a basic sketch of the day for you: kids arrive, they do free centers, we go on a field trip, we eat lunch, we go swimming, they go to computers, they go to art, we go swimming, we read aloud, we go to the gym, and then free centers until everyone gets picked up. It seems that all I am doing is facilitating the kids here and there. Seriously, a monkey could do it. A monkey from the town of Pigbone could do it...

School's Out For Summer!

The summer is upon us! All across America millions of teachers are...sleeping? What do teachers do during the summer? This is my first summer as a teacher so what am I suppose to do? Well I don't know what I am suppose to do so I took a summer job.

I am working back at the camp I was at last summer, but this year instead of 3 year olds I am working with the school age kids. So far it is going good. We have a scheduled activity/field trip everyday. Today it was a magician. For some reason kids love magicians! I don't know why. I just find magicians weird. I guess part of it is you can't trust a magician. They are all sneaky with their slight of hand. I had to leave the room because I was bored out of my mind.

I decided to visit some of the other classrooms. My first stop was the Starfish room full of 2 year olds. To my dismay there was a sad little person there. It was his first time at a child care center and he really missed his daddy. It hurts my heart when little people cry. As soon as he saw me he came to me and lifted his hand. I picked up the little monster and immediately he help on tight and got quiet. The teachers in the room were impressed at my way with him. I held him for 10 minutes before I had to leave to get back to my class. I was worried the magician would have all my kids sawed in half, wait it wasn't worry it was hopeful.

Well my lunch break is over, I'll have to finish this later. I am so glad I work 5 mins from work, so is Mia. That means at lunch she gets an extra walk in.

2 Months and 2 Days

That is how long it has been since I have last posted a blog. I can not believe it has been that long. I need to be more committed and diligent in my postings. What has happened since the last time I posted?

1. Well my class took 2 TAKS tests! Reading and Math. I already got the results from reading and they did phenomenol! I was so surprised by how well they did. The math results have not come in yet. I am a little uneasy about the Math scores. If they took their time and checked their answers like I drilled into their heads then I think they will do fine.
2. I went to Llano again with my friend Wendy Lee. I got to meet some of her work friends and made some new friends. We climbed Enchanted Rock, which is no easy feet. We also had the world's best BBQ at Coopers in Llano. I swear nothing better has touched my lips...I will leave it at that.lol
3. We went on 2 Field Trips in my Class. 1st to the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum and then to the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center. Both great experiences. Luckily no kids were lost or harmed. Also everyone was impressed by our matching shirts that a close friend and I made, orange tie dye with a superhero on the front.
4. My puppy is continuing to grow along with my love for her. She is a trip. She makes me laugh everyday. I was dog sitting another dog and every time that other dog would come to lick my face my puppy would go cover my face with her paws. Soooo cute. She also graduated from puppy school! I have her diploma framed and hung underneath my college diploma.
5. The year is quickly approaching and I don't want to say good bye to my class. They have all grown so much this year. Each of them has something I will miss about them. There is one little guy in my class with a raspy voice. He is going to the doctor to see if there is a bad reason for it. I hope not, I love to hear him read! I hope they don't change his voice. Mom says it has been that way since he was 3! Imagine a 3 year old with a smoker's voice!
6. This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. I am getting so much stuff from the kids. I am lucky to be in a school where kids can show their appreciation with gifts, even though my favorite ones are the home made ones.

I guess that is all for now. I will try to update more frequently. I like the idea of blogging as a way to make a virtual scrapbook of my life.

The Fortune Cookie from Hell

Today was my first experience with the TAKS test from an administrators point of view. I must say that I did not like it all. I found that today I was more irritable than normal. It was probably the unrealistic expectation for me to have 22 students remain quiet and still for at least 4 hours. I can't even do that myself for 4 minutes! Oh well, all I can do is hope for the best. Speaking of hoping for the best that reminds me of the mass amounts of Chinese food I consumed yesterday.

Last night I went over to my dad's house. His birthday, my step mom's birthday, and their anniversary are all in March. I planned on taking them out to a nice dinner. However that changed when I arrived. They decided that they wanted to eat in. I asked what they wanted and they were craving Chinese food. I called the Chinese restaurant on the corner and picked up every Chinese dish that could be made with chicken. It was rather delicious. Toward the end of the meal I started talking to my parents about the TAKS test and my kids. As I was talking I reached for my fortune cookie and cracked it open. Much to my dismay it read, "Hope for the best, but anticipate failure". I almost fell out of my chair! Was this a precursor for my class's TAKS scores! I was a wreck the rest of the night.

I hope they did well. We had a huge talk before the test about how much I believed in them and knew they could do it. 

After work today I took my computer to the Apple Store. Since Friday there was a flashing blue icon of a file folder and it would not do anything else. I found out that my hard drive pooped out and everything on my computer was lost. That was little disheartening since I can't remember if there was anything important on it. I hope that was the failure I was to anticipate. 

Off To The Races!!!!

Friday after school one of my students asked me to come to one of his Cub Scout Events on Saturday. It was a car race. I don't remember quite what he said but in my head I pictured the race where kids build their own go kart and race them.

On Saturday when I arrived, I was wrong. They were given a block of wood and made a car out of it to race. I was a little disappointed but I made the best of the situation. I found a familiar face and sat by them to watch the race. The familiar face was a parent of one of the kids. She is also an instructional aide at my school. I sat with her and waved at my student.

Minutes later the Den Leader of the scouts is center stage and calls for every one's attention. He calls my student up and I cheer. He asks my student who his special guest was. My stomach dropped. He said, "My teacher, Mr. Sosa". I blushed, smiled, and wave. I was glad when he handed the microphone back to the Den Leader because I thought I was off the hook. Then the Den Leader asked me to come up and say a few words. I felt my heart drop to my ankles with my stomach. I was a good sport and went up. I said that I was honored to be there and said that this was a really cool and fun event. Then I handed the mic back.

It did turn out to be a really cool event. All the different cars were pretty awesome.